straight from the heart
almost missed the bus. had to get my two bit in before everything is said in this case. the murder of tania banerjee is just that, murder. the law is an ass, as someone said. if we can justify this murder by throwing mud, then we can even become a hero. as humans we have been justifying everything, right to the point of bringing the world to its brink and getting away with it.
who cares about the carefree behaviour; tomorrow someone may take exception to couples holding hands and murder them- against society's morals. where are we headed as a civil society? respect and acceptance of the other's individuality is a must; dubbing sex as sin and immoral has to stop- it is a natural instinct. men can have multiple partners, but when women assert their sexuality and freedom we have people like gururaj kishore shutting them permanently.
what angers me more is the fact that society is trying to condone murder, the most henious of all crimes. what chance has someone who is faced with sexual harrassment or rape? the rationalisation that she deserves it, or she brought it on herself must give way to condeming the murder and punishing the murderer.
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15 comments:
the dynamics are not as simple as they seem... we criticise the 'fundamentalists' and the 'conservatives' who are a hurdle to our liberty ...yet, we need to realise that in reality, with freedom, comes greater responsibility. Most people restrict Modernity to a greater choice of outfits and sexual liberty... while these are unimportant when placed in the larger sphere of the debate. India is not yet ready for the advent of American culture, nor does it need to be. I agree that women have long been oppressed in our society, and need to be respected as individuals... yet, it is disheartening at times to see a working woman telling all kinds of lies to her weeping child who wants her to stay at home, but which she has decided to leave every morning for the sake of being 'independent'.
It is sad that While one section of our society is plagued by rigid ideas and superstitions, the other is desperate to give in to carnal instincts in search of 'freedom' or individuality. As u said, there are different sides to an issue, and these need to be carefully studied and then opinions formed. No one is right or wrong, good or bad. its just the way we see them. And yes, if we think something is wrong with the society, we have ourselves to blame more than anyone else. We are a part of the society, and it is a part of us.
hi ali, nice to hear from you. checked out your blog and can make some sense of your thinking. as we have already come to a conclusion- realities differ depending on the angle you take. but i still will go with freedom, with all its flaws than the good old days of restrictions. there is a choice, like you say responsible behaviour, in case of freedom. american culture is not totally alien, just like indian culture is not all glorious. one should take liberally from others, what we at a given time think is good for the society.
@ali: advent of american culture...splutr.. what?
freedom to be what you want to be with no harm to another is what you need to lend a few neurons to.
thats the bottomline with freedom you let me live and i do the same.
sir i agree with you about freedom with all its good and bads is better.
what doesn't have a good or bad to it?
lesser of two evils is what needs to be chosen
Change, when brought too quickly, or when forced upon people, is often undesirable. Ours has always been an extremely conservative society. Undue restrictions from elders and social pressures have always bound indians, and the youth has always desperately struggled to break away from these chains and lead a life governed by their own thoughts.
It has thus happened that this desperate struggle makes them forsake all rules and conventions that had long been set for them by others. In the name of freedom,We do not want to follow anything old, though it may not really be necessary and at some times, unhealthy.
I have always fought for freedom of expression, freedom from exploitation, and the freedom to be myself, though this has sometimes got me into trouble (and you will see the same in an upcoming newsletter). Yet, i believe that as a part of the society, i need to respect its sentiments. To bring about a change, u need to have the masses by your side. Aristotle has rightly said, "it is the mark of an educated man to entertain a thought without accepting it." When u do not like someone's ideology, do not criricise him or go alone in a different direction. Try to give him a patient hearing and then try to convince him of your ideas, because u need him and others like him. Freedom actually means the freedom to say that two plus two makes four; if that is granted, the rest follows.
Technology and culture are two different things. While it is important that we keep ourselves up to date with the technological advancements around the world, it is more important that in the process of doing so, we do not lose our own identity just for the heck of it. Lets take the example of thailand, which had earlier been an extremely conservative society. Today, their youth expresses pride by wearing 'i love NY' T-shirts and many of them turn gay (though it may not be instinctual) just because they think its 'cool' or 'different'. India is following on similar lines.
You know why i think india is not ready for the advent of American culture? because i feel sad when my friends spend hours and hours together at the food court doing nothing, but flirting over bottles of coke. It is also sad that we pity the state of the country when we see a lame beggar, yet, spend our time drooling over pictures of the latest bikes and cellphones.
'live and let live' is a great idea, but i m not sure of its practical implications on human beings. the same idea often borders on self-centeredness and the 'i dont care' attitude. It is important to have an opinion (though not judgemental or absolute) about things just as it is important to know why man is man.
dear ali, i totally agree with your insights. yet feel that we are clinging on to a culture that needs revolutionary changes in the present context. the technology has changed the society, hence there is no way we can keep living in the past. freedom is a double edged sword. not everyone has the ability to make good use of it. it is the ideology of freedom that we need to accept, not necessarily the negative impact.
i do think that with your depth of understanding about the world around and people in general you will turn out to be a good journalist, nay good human being.
dear ali, i totally agree with your insights. yet feel that we are clinging on to a culture that needs revolutionary changes in the present context. the technology has changed the society, hence there is no way we can keep living in the past. freedom is a double edged sword. not everyone has the ability to make good use of it. it is the ideology of freedom that we need to accept, not necessarily the negative impact.
i do think that with your depth of understanding about the world around and people in general you will turn out to be a good journalist, nay good human being.
dear ali, i totally agree with your insights. yet feel that we are clinging on to a culture that needs revolutionary changes in the present context. the technology has changed the society; hence there is no way we can keep living in the past. freedom is a double-edged sword. not everyone has the ability to make good use of it. it is the ideology of freedom that we need to accept, not necessarily the negative impact.
i do think that with your depth of understanding about the world around and people in general you will turn out to be a good journalist, nay good human being.
sir, i totally agree with you that freedom is two edged sword. But in this case where the murder is being justified....its rediculous!..she might even be "the most immoral woman". our "society" can think of! but she has a right to say 'yes' or no!..her opinion is her opinion... she dosent need this god like figure to change her and kill her b'coz they cannot accept rejection(in their words, change). and then justify the murder! .....
I think ali has made a really good argument. India might think it is ready for change, to go the American way, but that's only one tiny section of Indian society. I remember what a former classmate once told me - "I would want a bitch for a girlfriend, but a good girl for a wife." This is just an example of how double-standards work in our society. As much as Indian women think they are being liberated, or try to follow the example set by Sushmitha Sen (single motherhood and so on), they are mostly fooling themselves. Men in India will always have double standards, that is a sad reality every woman must eventually come to realise.
I know that because I am still young now, my father will let me date my boyfriend, and earn my own money when I graduate, and live on my own when I am ready, and even have or adopt a child if I want to. But I also know that he will expect me to marry before I want to take up motherhood duties. And he will expect me to marry a man that he approves of. He might not necessarily choose one for me, but he will expect my guy to be up to his standards. This is double standard; I cannot become Miss Universe and bring up a child without a husband.
Even though this is a personal issue, it is not very different from the kind of issues that other families with similar educational backgrounds have.
That said, Tania Banerjee's murder is, of course, in a different context. Gururaj Kishore may have murdered her due to issues of power, trying to change her from her 'wild' ways into a 'good girl', which cannot be justified at all. It is men's double standard that comes as an obstacle in the way of a woman's freedom.
At the end of the day, a woman is made to define her freedom or her limits by what men think. If a man whistles at a girl on the street for wearing a sleeveless shirt, then the next day she should cover her shoulders. If a Gururaj Kishore disapproves of a Tania Banerjee's lifestyle, then the next day she has to conform to his rules - and when that doesn't happen, she is murdered.
Freedom and eqality are words that we all bandy around without looking deeper into the logistics. Without the elimination of the double standard, there will be neither freedom nor equality. And women who try to assert themselves too much will end up being a victim of the system. Change and freedom have to start in small steps, one rung at a time. A woman cannot run up to the top of a ladder all at once, not even climb up painfully, because there are men like Kishore who tug at their ankles every time they try.
I do not think Tania Banerjee is at fault here. She has been the unfortunate victim of a man's possessiveness and ego, and no woman can delude herself thinking this is just a stray case.
i must say, the tanya banerjee issue has generated a lot of heat. looking at the cross section of the comments on this blog i can conclude that indian women have a long way to go; the society has double standards. the murder, in the words of deepti, is yet another way of asserting the dominance of the male in the modern, changing environment. i feel glad that everyone feels that the same way about murder- it can never be justified.
Murder is crime, justifying it is a bigger crime. our judicial system is lax and there are no excuses. more than being a man or a woman, the society needs to look at this as a crime against an 'individual'..
Whether Tania Banerjee was a 'bad girl' or not, the fact that Kishore murdered her makes him a worse human being than she ever was. She is faultless and blameless.
this comes a little too late i guess but i had not been able to keep up with this blog.....ali i have a lil problem with the bit where you said a mother has to lie to her child who wants her to stay home so she can go to work.i think the point is to get to the root...the issue being "a woman is originally a home maker" now that is how our society has been functioning and despite all the talk of liberation and freedom, to point fingers at a woman because she has to placate her child and go to work?? well you were right when you said india isnt ready for this.....we have the youth saying things like this.
i will not even get into the argument of whether it isnt the father's responsibility too or where exactly the child gets the idea that he/she needs the "mother" to stay at home and not the "father".....the problem lies in the root of the society.
most of the time the talk of liberation is bullshit, please excuse the term, i cant think of a better word.
and i have to point out that the hypocrisy in our society is not restricted to the men alone....look around you and women, like in all other fields arent falling behind.
all said i do agree that we need to have the freedom to exercise our will which definitely needs to be based on responsibility but i cannot agree that few individuals have the right to decide for a country what it needs and what it doesnt....thats what has been happening and by asserting that liberation is the way to go we're just changing what we are imposing but we are imposing nevertheless...
i agree with ali when he says live and let live isnt practical....
thats reality and its easier if we accept it and move on...
"law is an ass" said charles dickens sir...
i must say sir.. ur blog is really nice.. shows how the teacjher in the classroom is so different from the true person.. {bow}
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